As outlined in my previous post, I've been having some troubles with specific Wikia editors.
In honor of Louis Zamperini, I will forgive those who have done wrongs against me.
Icedragon64, I embrace you as a brother. I am no longer angry with you.
Three tips for success in life: 1. Wine 'Em 2. Dine 'Em 3. 69 'Em. That is all.
Nimbostratus Zacket
@UsernameUser
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Posted by UsernameUser - July 6th, 2014
Posted by UsernameUser - June 30th, 2014
Seriously, what the fuck, guys?
I was narcissistically browsing Newgrounds, reading blog replies and admiring the beauty of my page, when I decided to check out my Wikia again. To my amazement, my Wikia had been deleted!
What the fuck?!
Dude, I spent like 20 hours stealing code to make that thing look good. I tell you what, it looked pretty damn good.
According to the log, some guy named Icedragon64 had the balls to delete my page for the SECOND time (no, really, this dude had already deleted my Wikia once before). I'll admit, the first time, my Wikia was really very pointless, and indeed worthy of deletion. This time, I am seriously furious. My page was better looking than almost anyone elses, and my page included large quantaties of informative detail.
I will not rest until the glory that is my Wikia has been restored.
Update: I sent a cordial PM to the man in question requesting an explaination as to why he repetedly deletes my page. Instead of replying (like any respectful human being), he choose to ignore me entirely and delete my page for a third time... son of a bitch!
Posted by UsernameUser - June 9th, 2014
A lil' while ago, I did a list of my top 5 motorcycles to buy if money was no object (which is impossible because matter will always be an object, unless physical money is completely shunned, that is)
Now it is time to do a list of my top 10 cars to buy if you had all the money in the world... Which would probably be kinda lame because then your life would just be a pointless waking nightmare... Whatever...
This is in no order... Well, actually it is, but it's in no order that I chose... Well, actually it is, but it's in no specific order... Well, actually, it is, but it's in no order in the context of superiority.... Well, actually, it might be, depending on your opinion... What I'm trying to say is, this is in a somewhat random order... Whatever.
1. Falcon F7
Image Credit: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eamp4zO9F0A/Twyp27BOzlI/AAAAAAAGYCM/5B3qnCoeq_4/s800/Falcon-F7-V8-2.jpg
It's not the fastest car ever made, topping out at about 200 MPH. At around $200,000, it's not the most expensive thing out there, either. You could always take the more obvious route and buy a Lamborghini or a Ferrari, but I like the F7 because it's a unique statement. A car should be a reflection on its owner. It doesn't matter how fast it goes, it doesn't matter how expensive it is. If it makes you happy, then god damn it, it works. The icing in the cake is that it's American (you can go ahead and scrape that bit off if you're not from America, it'll save you a few calories anyway).
2. Artega GT
Image Credit: http://www.supercarfrance.com/Geneve-2009/Part-2/21-Artega_GT.JPG
Artega is a former German auto maker who folded back in 2012. This is their only production model. Something about this sprightly little coupe makes it seem so valuable to me. No more will ever be made. The example above is surely the only GT in existence with that paint scheme. The bottom line is, I've never seen one on the road, and probably never will. But if I do, there will be someone behind the wheel... I want to be that person.
3. 1925 Sunbeam Tiger
Image Credit: http://files.conceptcarz.com/img/Sunbeam/25-Sunbeam_Tiger_SpdRcrd_DV-07-PB_01.jpg
The Sunbeam Tiger was once the fastest car in the world, with a record speed of 125 MPH. Only two were ever produced, making it both a record holder and one of the rarest cars in the world. It's sure to start a conversation with almost anyone.
4. Grand Cherokee Trailhawk II
While the Jeep Wrangler is excellent off road, it lacks the functionality of the Grand Cherokee on road. The Grand Cherokee is still a very good car offroad, but it lacks the same niche specialization as the Wrangler. I give you: The Jeep Grand Cherokee Trailhawk II. It has massive off road tires pulled straight off a Wrangler. The wheel arches have been expanded to allow them to fit on the car. The hood and front facia is from the SRT Grand Cherokee (the racing model... you might think a racing Cherokee is silly, but remember that the GC was once the 5th fastest American car. Source: https://autos.yahoo.com/news/10-fastest-american-cars.html). The whole thing has been lifted about two inches, and it comes with the excellent 3.0 liter turbodiesel engine which makes 420 pound/feet of torque and has a range of 750 miles!
The bad: It won't ever be made... most likely. It also has archaic steel-spring suspension, instead of air suspension, which would allow for better ride feel, clearance and highway ride.
The good: Jeep has an extensive catalog of parts to choose from, so it might be possible that this vehicle could be made as a custom build... if you have the money.
5. C7 Corvette Stingray
Image Credit: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/55/2013-03-05_Geneva_Motor_Show_7853.JPG
The Corvette has always been a terrific value for the money. For $53,000 (MSRP base) you get 460 horsepower and a 0-60 time of 3.8 seconds. Sports cars have always been hard to validate buying, but the C7 has the ability to disable cylinders in the 6.8 liter V8 when in eco-mode, effectively working as a V4. Chevrolet says the car will be able to operate as a V4 for much of the time it is on the road, allowing for 29 MPG highway. Best of all, the base model (seen above) is a convertible! Simply remove the hard top roof and place it in the trunk, where it snaps into place, acting as almost a second trunk lid. This solves a problem that plagues all soft-top convertibles: they look horrible when the roof is up. This is not the case here. In fact, I think Chevy thought people wouldn't realize that the base model is a convertible, so they gave buyers the opportunity to pay more to have their car ruined by turning it onto a dedicated soft-top. Do yourself a favor and just buy the regular version.
6. Sonic Hatchback
Image Credit: http://images.thecarconnection.com/lrg/2012-chevrolet-sonic_100336905_l.jpg
Not all good cars are fast. Not all good cars are expensive. Not all cheap or fast cars are good, either.
This is an example of a car that's cheap enough and fast enough to put a smile on my face. It's the perfect cheap and cheerful car. It starts at $14,770 (the hatchback version, if you get the sedan version, you should kill yourself) and it has enough cargo space to hold numerous things. It's small enough to park places, and it's smooth enough to drive. In safety tests, it was literally off the charts, with an estimated 5.3 out of 5 stars. If you're in the market, I implore you to test one out.
Like the C7 Corvette, GM has messed up just a little. On the Corvette, they made an optional soft-top model, which completely ruins the spirit of the car. This is the same way, with the sedan model. The whole point of the thing it that it's a hot hatchback. Making it a sedan is a bit like making the Fiat 500 a sedan, or a Mini Cooper a sedan. It's just daft. Worst of all is when people buy the sedan version, buy the base model, and then have it painted red. I don't know why, but I just find this infuriating.
Whatever, test it, you'll probably like it.
7. Saleen S7
Image Source: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/74/Saleen_S7_(8228619567).jpg
The Saleen S7 (not to be confused with the Falcon F7) was once the fastest and most expensive car in the world. Now, you can pick one up for relatively little money. Something about this car is just so right. It looks straight out of a video game, with a huge spoiler, cutthroat gills, and gullwing doors. Unlike the positively moronic Bugatti Veyron, it breaks records in style, looking more like a god of war than a man in a fat suit (seriously, Bugatti, your car looks obese...)
Dat ass doe
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8d/Bugatti_Veyron_EB_16.4_Grand_Sport_(back).JPG
This is a car with history. A car with heritage. It wins the heart not through brute force and excessive numbers of radiators, but through utter beauty and pedigree... And it's American.
8. 1985 Yugo GV
Image Credit: http://dev.hatchheaven.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/yugo_gv_hactback_ad.jpg
The only lists the Yugo GV is ever seen on is lists of the worst cars ever made. Even in the picture above, the damn thing looks more like a sorrowful sow than a car meant to excite and wow. Indeed, the only thing it has going for it is that it's red (which is said to increase power output by 10%). For all these reasons, this little hunk-o-junk is really very charming to me. That is, from an outside point of view. I'm sure as soon as I get my hands on one, I'll be looking for a bridge to drive it off quite soon afterwards.
9. Ford/Sportsmobile Sportsmobile
Imagine an RV. How good is it offroad? Terrible. Imagine a Jeep. How good is it at being an RV? Terrible. What if there was an offroad RV? There is! It's called a Sportsmobile. It's a Ford van turned RV turned offroader, complete with mini-fridge, awning, microwave, barbeque, multiple beds, audio/TV equipment, and more offroad cred than your goddamn Subaru XV Crosstrek, you hippie.
The only drawback is leaf-suspension, even if Sportsmobile claims it improves ride.
10a. Any Car!
http://www.rigsofrods.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=432492&d=1379977506
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H0xSR430Ko0/S9SLyGDFADI/AAAAAAAAArw/IkuKjjqy38o/s1600/DSCF5642W.JPG
http://gearpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/reliant-rugged-robin-gear-patrol.jpg
A car's a car! If it's shitty, that's your own goddamn fault! Improve it. Make it personal. Bitching about owning a car is not acceptable, you toolbag. If it runs, it's a good car, and if it's a car, it can get you places. It doesn't have to be fast, it doesn't have to be cool, it doesn't even have to be safe, just as long as it works.
10b. 1955 TC-497 Overland Train Mark II OR 1939 Antarctic Snow Cruiser
TC-497 Overland Train Mark II
Image Credit: http://s2.e-monsite.com/2010/04/27/02/resize_950_950//5-Letourneau-Overland-Train-Mk-II.jpg
Alright, fine, I'll give you a couple more vehicles to choose from...
The LeTourneau company was contracted by the United States Army to design and build a series of extreme backcountry vehicles for operations in arctic climates. Having proven sucessful with their TC-264 Sno-Buggy (whose tires would later be used on Bigfoot 5, the world's largest monster truck) and the Tournatrain, the US Army next asked LeTourneau to design a vehicle with the charastics of both. LeTourneau gave the US Army the LCC-1, and later the even larger TC-497 Overland Train Mark II. At nearly 600 feet long, the TC-497 Overland Train Mark II was the largest land vehicle in human history. The first cab was over 30 feet tall, slept six and had toilets and a galley. The vehicle could acheive 20 MPH and had a range of over 350 miles with no external fuel tanks. The entire concept was eventually dumped in favor of actually practical technologies AKA "the helicopter". The TC-497 was eventually scrapped, although the smaller LCC-1 currently resides in the Yukon Transportation Museum.
If you thought the Sportsmobile that slept four or the go-anywhere Jeep Grand Cherokee Trailhawk II was cool, this is a couple of steps up. No word yet on whether it's street legal, though...
Antarctic Snow Cruiser AKA "The Penguin"
Think about the ideal land vehicle for getting over any obsticle. You'd probably want it to be big, right?
The Antarctic Snow Cruiser was designed between 1937 and 1939 with the goal of being almost the Space Shuttle of the Antarctic: reliably transport people and objects two and from the South Pole. It was nearly 56 feet long, 16 feet high, and had a range of 5,000 miles (making this a much better economy vehicle than the TC-497).
The powertrain (no pun intended) was two 11-liter inline-six disel engines which made an earth-shaking 150 horsepower each (seriously, what the hell?).
Having spent $300,000, invested 11 weeks of construction, the vehicle was shipped to Antarctica.
Idioticly, the designers failed to realize that the massive, although perfectly smooth tires would be utterly hopeless in the snow, the exact environment the vehicle was meant to be used in.
Interestingly, the vehicle apperantly gained more traction when driven in reverse. This is how the 92 mile expedition was carried out- in reverse.
After what was essentially a prolonged failure of an expedition, the thing was abandoned, left to accumumate snow.
The Antarctic Snow Cruiser was later discovered in the late 1940s, and later 1958. Again abandoned, it has not been seen for over 50 years, and most speculate that is currently resides under very deep snow or somewhere on the sea floor, haven been carried out to sea by the movement of the ice shelf.
On paper, the Antarctic Snow Cruiser is probably the most badass thing ever. On snow, it's more slippery than a greased bar of soap in a tub of corn oil. Coincidentally, I live in America rather than Antarctica, so snow isn't really that big of a concern. And anyway, I'd just replace those swamp tires with some monster truck tires and call it good.
Anyway, thanks for reading my dumb list (even though you probably didn't, you just looked at the pictures). I hope you enjoyed it. I'll make some more lists in the future if you did. Be sure to leave a comment in the box below.
Posted by UsernameUser - May 11th, 2014
Hybrids aren't good for the planet, you fucking clodpoles.
Buying and maintaining an old, conventional-style car is better in every way than buying a new hybrid car, which I shall now detail bellow:
1. Buying a used car is better for the planet than buying a hybrid
Hybrids are essentially massive batteries on wheels, and forcing the creation of a brand new car (especially one with so many massive, toxic components) instead of preventing an old, used car from having to be disposed of is horrible for the planet. You are killing the earth in three ways- 1. Mining nickel and other battery components decimates the earth 2. Later having to dispose of these horrible batteries when they inevitably die in seven years 3. Not preventing an old car from being destroyed and therefore causing a perfectly good car to go to waste, rather than simply use that one, you fucking hippie piece of shit.
2. It's expensive, dumbass!
I Googled "Used Honda Civic in (my location)" and found a 2001 Honda Civic DX for $4,000 with 44 highway MPG within three minutes of searching. A new 2014 Honda Civic Hybrid starts at well over $27,000. Even a fucking hippie could figure out that the hybrid is just a LITTLE more expensive.
So, as you can see, hybrids are for piece-of-shit-assholes.
Don't even get me started on electric cars.
The ultimate low-emmissions vehicle is the motorcycle. 60 MPG is considered very low, many motorcycles get over 100 MPG. Most of the time, people drive alone, anyway, so a motorcycle isn't even impractical.
Posted by UsernameUser - May 3rd, 2014
Maybe one of you will recall that I recently resolved to leave Newgrounds for some ambiguous volume of time.
Well, I am too weak to do this.
I am an addict.
I am a failure.
So, uh, yea, I can't leave because I am too weak.
Posted by UsernameUser - April 27th, 2014
Well, it has been a fun year. I had tons and tons of great times making crappy art and experiencing all the fantastic creations that you wonderful people have made. However, Newgrounds has really taken up too much of my time, and I think it would be best for me to take a temporarily leave of abscence from this site. I will likely miss talking to all of you tremendously for the first few weeks, but I will surely move on in hardly no time at all. Before I go, I would like to thank a few people who have made my experience magical.
YurgenBurgen, thanks for all your inspiring and thought-provoking art. Newgrounds has no one else quite like you.
SychoSloth, thanks for making me laugh ever single day.
Platypuspwn, thanks for your insane and absurd ramblings.
HKS, thanks for keeping Chat just racist enough to get the conversation flowing. Sorry about never finishing that book, I hope we might one day complete it.
Malachy, thanks for the Transformers fanfic.
beheadedbymuslims, thanks for saving me two hours by recounting the plot of Frozen instead of me having to watch it.
Gagsy, thanks for always beating me in BGO.
JeremyLokken, thanks for keepin' it real real.
CosmicDeath, Knights, Zachary, thanks thanks for being really good mods.
floff, thanks for the cool stories.
Macula, thanks for getting me banned.
If your name wasn't on this list, then take a hike, chump! Better luck next time.
If anyone asks where I am, please forward this message to them.
I might return in the future, but until then, stay safe!
UsernameUser
Posted by UsernameUser - April 19th, 2014
It's always hard to ask questions like, "If someone offered you free car, which one would you take?". Nine out of ten times, the person will answer, "Well, probably a Bugatti or that new Lamborgini, they are the most expensive". I'll try to avoid that here, if possible. What's nice about motorcycles is they're so cheap. The fastest street-legal bike on earth costs about $15,000, and while not cheap compared to most other bikes, it's still cheaper than most cars. For this list, I will be picking my top five motorcycles I'd like to own. This list will be based on practicality and fun factors, rather than maximum speed and maximum price. These bikes are in vauge order based on how much fun I think I could get out of them.
Let's start off with number one? I think that's a good place to start.
#1: KTM Super Duke 1290
Image Source: http://i.imgur.com/FtnoQcW.jpg
It's fast around the track, it's comfortable off the track, and it's very orange. While it's MPG is supposedly around 33 MPG, I don't see that as a huge problem considering the MPGs of some of the other vehicles on this list (assuming I'd be owning all of the vehicles on this list). The MSRP is near $13,000 from my estimate, which doesn't make it a steal, but it's still not as high as other bikes out there. The bike pictured doesn't look completely street legal, (those tires aren't allowed on American roads) but I wanted to show off the glorious painted rims.
#2 Cleveland Cyclewerks Heist TIED WITH Yamaha V-Star 250
Image Source: http://static.squarespace.com/static/524c5aa4e4b0aac0d82f7c71/t/52825622e4b0f7fd724dc270/1384273477816/CCW_Heist.jpg
The three things you need to know about the Heist: it's cheap- MSRP of $3,200. It's efficent- 80 to 100 MPG. And it looks very, very good. It's also worth mentioing that the machinery is simple enough that esentially all major fixes could be done by the owner. The only real downsides are in that it has a total horsepower of about 12, it seats just one, and it has a somewhat bumpy ride. Despite these letdowns, the Heist is one of the few vehicles to bridge the gap between really practical and really cool.
#2 Yamaha V-Star 250
If two seats is something you desire, the V-Star 250 may be for you. It also acheives 70-90 MPG, so that's something. That extra seat will cost you $1,000 over the Heist, though.
#3: KTM Adventure 1190 R
#4: Suzuki Boulevard M109R B.O.S.S.
Image Source:
#5: Honda CBR250r Repsol Edition
Image Source: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-69-G559xAYo/UPbZDVySyLI/AAAAAAAABDk/ezfhCgi0r6U/s1600/IMG_5276.JPG
To be continued...
Posted by UsernameUser - February 2nd, 2014
I've only been banned twice on this site. Once was for good reason- arguing with a spammer. The second was more recently. I must say, it is an interesting experience. You get no warning, no explaination. Just a message that says "You may not post to NG". If you ever have the chance, you should really try it. Also, if a mod reads this, can you tell me how long my ban is? Or maybe, like, unban me? That would be really neat of you. Thanks. Until next time! UsernameUser
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/b23b6c9149b623b8927a34e52e455a2b
Posted by UsernameUser - July 19th, 2013
Well, clearly there is no one except me who actually reads these things. I think I'll keep making them, though, in case I become some kind of media phenomenon (or more likely, someone just stumbles upon this page and is interested in reading my nonsense for whatever unlikely reason). Tell MSNBC I say hi!
Posted by UsernameUser - July 12th, 2013
I have compiled a list of my favorite songs, with no more than two songs per artist. There are eight songs (so far, I'll add more later), in no order.
For some reason, the embedded video feature does not work, so links it is!
MGMT- Of Moons Birds and Monsters
MGMT- Flash Delirium
Young Galaxy- Wailing Wall
Young Galaxy- Phantoms